acknowledgement: Image - http://socrates58.blogspot.com/
“arghzz..”, “I hate you” , “you are in the wrong! Not me!"
These are probably the words often heard in a conflict. Well, the one conflict that I will never forget involves words even more harsh than these and the reason behind the conflict: unknown.
I was wheeling my grandmother who was sitting on her wheelchair to the polyclinic on that unforgettable Saturday. The street leading to the polyclinic was filled with people and I could not really see the road in front. I was pushing the wheelchair slowly behind an old man, thinking how kind I am to wait patiently for him to walk and not rush him. Apparently, the leg rest bump into the old man’s leg. I immediately apologized several times, showing GREAT SINCERITY. The old man just turned back and scolded me.
Let’s call him OM for old man
Me: sorry sorry sorry…
OM: you mean you can’t see me?
Me: I really cannot see you!
OM: stupid la you!
I ignored him and walked off. Later, I saw him again at the lift to the polyclinic.
OM: stupid la. Can’t see meh?
Me: I really cannot see! You don’t believe? You want to try pushing the wheelchair?
OM: BLOODY STUPID!
Me: [raised my voice to 10x my normal volume] I already apologized. What do you want me to do? I really did not see your leg!
By that time, everyone was looking at the both of us, especially me, because I was screaming. My inner thoughts at that time: Does he think he has the right to scold me just because he is older than me? The older generation whom I encountered always says that the younger generation is disrespectful and rude. Why can’t they reflect on their own behaviour before commenting on others? I don’t know what OM is feeling at that instant. Does his leg hurt until he has to scold me “bloody” repeatedly? Was there a need to do that and make things difficult for a young lady? I really do not know what he wanted from me.
No offense everyone. I was only referring to the people I have met. I am not stereotyping. I admit I am letting my feelings take control over me but please just let me rant. This is the first and I hope, the last interpersonal conflict that I would encounter in the PUBLIC. To be honest, I am very proud of myself for having the guts to retaliate and scold him. At that point in time, the onlookers must be thinking I was the one being unreasonable because I “bullied” the poor old man. The thing that disappoints me was that I cried after the conflict. The whole incident was just too overwhelming for me and I had to let go of my feelings all at once. This part was a little cowardly.
After I have calmed down, I kept thinking if there were any ways I could have resolved the conflict without me picking an up argument. Or is there no other way because he was just too unreasonable and unforgiving? Should I keep quiet and allow him to scold me? I would like to initiate another discussion: whether youngsters should be bullied by the older generation even though the elders themselves are the ones who are in the wrong? Should we respect them like in this kind of situation and just endure everything?
edited (04/09/2008 10:58am)
2:23 AM
10 comments
10 Comments:
A thought often comes across my mind. Why must humans talk, or rather, communicate effectively?
Being a soft-spoken person who is constantly trying to be “noisy” [ as you can see from my blog add], I feel that communication to me is a very complex matter. Even more complicated than the mathematics formulae and proofs that I have to learn as part of my major.
Well, talking to family, peers and people who are close to you seem easy, but come to think of it, even communicating with these people is an art which requires careful thinking and planning. Without this trivial yet important thinking process, communication breakdown can result and lead to irreversible situations in which you will come to regret in the future.
Besides communicating with people who have known you for life, communicating effectively with colleagues, working partners is very important too. I foresee that in the future, I will have difficulty communicating effectively with the professionals in the real world. There will not be anyone to tolerate my language errors, the way I mix English and mandarin when I speak, as well as the constant stutters that I encounter whenever I do not know how to express myself. Being able to speak confidently and be understood not only raises your status but also give others a good impression of you. In this English-dominated world today where everyone have at least a degree and good command of English, who knows what embarrassing moments will occur if you happen to say the wrong things at the wrong time or show the wrong body language?
As of now, I feel that being able to communicate effectively is very important to me as I need to have that confidence to voice out my opinions loudly and not always be the one writing minutes during a group discussion or keeping my inner thoughts to myself.
11:54 AM
14 comments
14 Comments: